'Twas the night before The Epstein files get released, when all through the White house Not a creature was stirring, not even a convicted felon mouse; The gold shit from home depot was hung by the chimney with care, In hopes that Melania soon would be there; The children were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of child molesters danced in their heads; And mamma in her 'kerchief, and Jeff Epstein in my cap, Had just settled down for a island sex trap. When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew like a flash, Tore open the shutters and tipped over the my pot stash. The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow Gave the lustre of mid-day criminals below, When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, But Trumps miniature penis, and eight tiny reindeer, With a little old driver, so lively and quick, I knew in a moment it must be a child molesters dick More rapid than eagles his cou...
