The reasons I hate SUVs
So there are many legitimate reasons to hate modern SUVs and the people who drive them. Let me explain why.
1. They suck Gas .. This is the least of the things I hate about them, but global warming is real and you are not helping.
2. They suck when you are in a car making a right and a SUV is to your left. I cant see over that huge POS and you tinted the windows black so No one can see oncoming traffic. Thats a real asshole move.
3. Most people dont need SUVs... let me explain.
If you have 4 or more children and you live on a mountain top where it often snows ,You can buy an SUV, you have a need for such a vehicle
If you are not in the above demographic, you probably dont need one.
4. They are unsafe because they handle like shit and they tip over much easier than cars do.
I had some rich asshole in a new Porsche Cayenne or whatever they call that four door piece of shit try to follow my car onto an offramp at the same speed as my car ... he almost wrecked ... they handle like shit ....
I dont care if they put PORCHE on it in big letters. It still weighs 5,000 pounds and has a center of gravity about three feet off the ground. It will not handle as well as almost any decent car . Your porsche is a big piece of shit that does not take a corner as fast as my Ford Focus ... ha ha ... I will get one of you dumb bastards to follow me into a corner way too fast waiting to see my brake lights. I have had two SUVs almost wreck trying to keep up with me in corners recently.. I keep hoping...
5. They are not off road vehicles and you are not some kind of Urban cowboy if you drive one. I know that none of the assholes is taking that new shiney 50K SUV down a mountain trail, or even a dirt road. The new four door jeeps are the worst for this ...
Those assholes put all kinds of offroad extras on these crappers. The only off roading those guys do is when they pull it in the grass to wash it.
6. You are not safer in a SUV... so many stupid assholes say this and I am sick of hearing it.
Yes, in the exact same accident, a bigger car is usually safer for the people in it . What about the people in the other vehicles ?
What about accident avoidance? What about avoiding an accident and not just bragging about how you lived through wrecking your suburban because you are a shitty driver and you cant see out of that thing.
The deadliest cars in the USA are SUVs ... look it up.
7. Parking , So many people suck at parking. Last year I was trying to get lunch at a restaurant and the only space available had about a foot of Toyota Tacoma in it. Because sure , you have a fancy truck please take 1.25 parking spaces ...
I parked my little car next to them anyways and i wrote them a note about being too stupid to park and hoping they did not reproduce. I put the not under the wiper blade.
8. Stupid Bitches .... I had some young, good looking urban professional chick behind me in a new Lexus SUV putting on makeup and talking on her cell phone while she rode my ass IN THE SLOW LANE .....
I slammed on my brakes hoping that her eyeliner pencil would pierce her eye and puncture the fluid cavity surrounding her pea brain and kill her.... she did not kill herself ... but she did get off my ass.
9. Assholes in four door pick up trucks ...
ok people, that is not a pickup truck if you put four doors and a 4 foot bed on it. ITS AN SUV WITH A REALLY SHITTY TRUNK .. thats what a four door truck is ... I hate to break it to ya ... thats not a real truck.
I had a truck for years .... and i have had a big penis my entire life ...
I bought a ford ranger .. It was a cool truck and it got great MPG and it had a big bed and i could haul more in it that any urban fucktard cowboy in his crappy SUV/truck.
10. Blind spots .... I have seen more "almost wrecks" caused by assholes who glance in the mirror and try to change lanes ... you idiots think SUVs are safer ... they might be if you could see out of them you fucking assholes ...
Comments
Post a Comment