History of the Crockpot

 

The Crockpot is the world’s most popular cookware. Anyone who is not a moron likes a crockpot meal. It’s easy and versatile. Anything from stew to cider can be made with little work. 

But have you ever wondered how this stone crock conquered the world? Obviously you have. 

The Crockpot, like most great inventions was the product of necessity. Enter Jan  Kaminska. 

Jan was born in Crockpot Hungary some year a bit ago. 

Hungarians were struggling at this time but their bike riding savior had arrived. While out scavenging near the northern border, Jan saw a group of Polish citizens. Jan and the Polish exchanged pleasantries. Jan made an offhanded joke that would change Hungarian history. 

“I’d trade a dog turd for something to eat!” Said Jan. 

The Polish guys each stared at each other in shock. The head pollock stepped forward and said they had a ton of meat they had been feeding their dogs so they could eat the dog poop. But it was hard to get enough poop to to feed all of Poland. They would gladly trade the meat for dog poop. 

Jan Kaminska was sure the Polish were kidding with him. But they were serious. 

Eventually Hungary had so much meat they needed a way to conveniently cook the meat. So Jan took a tin pot and stuck a stone pot inside. Then he wired it up using old radio parts. Thus the Crockpot was born. 

But the Polish got wind of the tomfoolery that had occurred and went to war with Hungary 

Luckily it only took a handful of crockpots to wipe out most of Poland

There was only two survivors left to repopulate the entire country of Poland 

Many years later the Crockpot biked it’s way to America and copulated with whores coast to coast. 

And that’s how the crockpot came to rule the world