A SagaciousJack true story.

“Now it all started two Thanksgivings ago
That was two years ago on Thanksgiving” (Press play to the song above to play while reading Jack's story)

That wasn't me. That was Arlo. More about that later.

When I was around 21, I was living in a 4 BR townhome in the burbs of Denver, with three other guys from Nebraska. Two of the guys couldn't handle the big city and went back home. That left me and my crazy buddy to come up with the rent. My buddy was not long out of Vietnam, where he was an airborne ranger. He loved that shit. Anyway he had a gunny sack full of Nebraska weed in the basement. He was also on the road somewhere, but I knew he would return.

I was working full time and going to college full time so money was tight. It was time for NFL draft, so I jumped on my BSA and went down to the local 7-11 to buy a newspaper to see how it went.
When I got there, there were a couple of greasy looking characters hanging out in front. They approached me and asked if I could get them some pot. I said hell no and went into the store. When I came out, they were begging me to get them an ounce of weed and offered a decent price.
I thought about the gunnysack full of Nebraska weed. Worthless, with absolutely zero THC content. I thought “why the hell not”. I'll never see these two nimrods again.

So, I went back and filled up a baggie with an ounce of this shit. Went back and did the deal and was busted by these undercover assholes. Hell, I didn't even smoke pot. I never liked the high.

Anyway, these guys were nervous as shit. So, to calm them down, I recited the entire Alice's Restaurant on the way to the pokey. It is a very long song.

I don't recall what I was actually charged with, but I got probation and had to see a probation officer once a month for a year. The first time I showed up and the guy asked me what I was up to. So I told him that I was working full time and going to college full time. He asked what kind of grades I had and I told him “straight As”. He gave me a quick look and told me that I didn't have to come back.

It was never a problem until just a few years ago when I was applying for a Global Entry card. They denied my application. Even though pot was legal in Colorado by then, it was still illegal federally.
I appealed the decision and got my card.

That is my story and I'm sticking to it.

I've been in city/county lockup more than a few times. In fact, I had my 18^th birthday in jail.

Anyone have any juicy stories?  

Thanks for the contribution, Jack!