Redneck neighbor comedy alerts.
I was coming home one day last week and there was a fire truck ahead of me with its lights and siren on, headed toward my house.
Ambulances are not rare around here, but they only send firetrucks out for bigger shit, so I was curious. I park my car and the firetruck pulls into the road that touches our property on that side. So of course I have to walk down to see what is going on.
What I see horrified me. The redneck dad is standing next to a tree with a ladder stuck on its side. A huge limb has been cut off this tree (huge tree 30M or 100 feet tall) and this huge limb on the ground kind of blocks my view. I get closer and look under the huge fallen limb and I see a safety line with a chain saw hanging from it. A broken safety line and two leather boots and two legs just dangling from the tree. I almost shit my pants.
I thought the guy was dead. One million bad things can happen to a man cutting trees and I did not need to see anymore than the boots to know that the stuff up above might be horrible to look at ... So I didnt.
I saw dangling boots and turned around and went in my house. The firetruck was already there. An ambulance and a couple cops got there just as I walked into my back yard, so my help was not needed. I hauled ass back into the house and did not let the dogs out ... LOL
The firetruck used its ladder and a chain saw to cut the tree and extricate the man from his awkward position. Somehow this huge limb had fallen and caught his safety line. The huge amount of energy released by the falling limb was transferred to this mans safety line and quickly and violently introduced the front of him to the tree under extreme pressure.
The Redneck had hired a guy he met at work on his security job to trim these huge trees. He almost died on the second limb.
The Ambulance was in no hurry after they loaded the guy up so I still thought he was dead. Come to find out that he just got banged up real bad and thats why they were in no hurry. He was at work the next morning telling everyone that something happened to his legs. This is a small town and I have an inside source at their job. That makes everything so much more funny. The retarded rednecks cut down a huge limb to make room for more Dodge Dakota parking.
Now I have to plant some trees to cover the view of Dodge Dakota land that the missing limb was covering. That corner of my yard will get more attention... LOLOLOL
Anyone got any good suggestions of a tree species to use. Leyland cypress is popular but they are vulnerable to pests or fungus or something down here.
This episode of my redneck neighbors has made me feel like a much better neighbor. I get to laugh at their extreme redneckness and no one got seriously hurt. I feel pretty good about those two things.
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